| Southern women | |
Posted: 05/22/2008 7:15 PM |
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Joined: Sep 25, 2004
Local time: 10:02 AM
Location: Texas
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Southern women appreciate their natural assets: Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners: 'Yes, ma'am.' 'Yes, sir.' 'Why, no, Billy!'
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions : 'Y'all come back!' 'Well, bless your heart.' 'Drop by when you can.' 'How's your Momma?' 'I'm going to kick your hind end all the way to the curb'
Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick
outhern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals Strapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy Grits Eggs Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform. Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between ahissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them. _ ____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.' _ ____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.' _____
O
nly a Southerner knows exactly how long'directly' is, as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.' _____
E
ven Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____
All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by'< FONT size=5> is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! _____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mi le or 20. _ ____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. __ ___
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. __ ___
A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. __ ___
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, .. and when we're 'in line,' . we talk to everybody! _ ____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. _ ____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. __ ___
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. __ ___
When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! __ ___
Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.'Sweet tea indicates the need for suga r and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. _ ____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' ... and go your own way. _ ____
T
o those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! _ ____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! __ ___
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.'
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could
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