Welcome to RCF - WHF

Jaddon · Oct 12, 2005

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!"

This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr?"

I'm thought to myself, "Belinda...try decaf...this ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of 36B to a size 38LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice....it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when I heard, then felt, a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off! "What?" I yelled.

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt backkkk."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible. "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch.

Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps........

rb2d2 · Sep 25, 2004

That is sooooo funny. I once posted this on another forum and a guy thought it had actually happened to me. He suggest I sue.

hysterical2

Jaddon · Oct 12, 2005

Ella Howard · Oct 20, 2004

ROTFL!!!!! hysterical2

mojo · Feb 03, 2007

That was excellent! Laughing! hysterical1

Ella Howard · Oct 20, 2004

Actually, a mammo never hurt me and I had no unpleasant effects from them. Just had a good experience with them, even though I've had bad experience with one or two others.

rb2d2 · Sep 25, 2004

I find them extremely painful.

Crying or Very sad

mojo · Feb 03, 2007

Mine have always hurt, but the last one didn't and it one shot on each and done, new machine digital images.

rb2d2 · Sep 25, 2004

Jaddon · Oct 12, 2005

mine went good to and the women who did them was very nice. Smile