Welcome to RCF - WHF

rb2d2 · Sep 25, 2004

Kids...Ya Gotta Love 'em!

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman
rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to
the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as
I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped
off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his
hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride
in the stroller too.".
________________________________

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy,
came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she
was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was
doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, "My mom has some
of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them."
________________________________

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn,
I got a little wistful. "In ten years," I said, "you'll want to be
with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with
me like you do now."

Carolyn shrugged. "In ten years you'll be too old to do all those
things anyway."
________________________________

Dinosaurs are fascinating. My three-year-old is obsessed with them.
Recently we were riding on a bus, and he asked another passenger for
her name.
"My name is Deena," she said. "Can you say Deena?"

"Deena," said my son. "Can you say pachycephalosaurus?"
________________________________

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving
immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room
to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. "No, no, no!" she screamed.
"Lizzie," scolded her mother, "that's not polite behavior."

With that, the girl yelled even louder, "No, thank you! No, thank you!
________________________________

My wife left the car unattended for only a minute, but it was long
enough for our two-year-old to climb in, throw the car into reverse
and crash into a lamppost. He was fine, but the car wasn't, and I had
a hard time explaining who was behind the wheel to the insurance
company.

After a pause, the adjuster asked, "Do you let him drive often?"
________________________________

Jake is 5 and learning to read.

He points at a picture in a zoo book and says,
"Look Mama! It's a frickin' Elephant!"

Deep breath ... "What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama! It says so on the picture!"

And so it does ...

"A f r i c a n Elephant"

Hooked on phonics!!! Ain't it wonderful?
________________________________

One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of
preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. After the librarian
finished the first page, she asked the children, "Do you think she'll
die?"

"Nope," a little girl in the back said. "I saw this last night on
Fear Factor."
________________________________

My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My
ten-year-old niece answered the phone. "Hello," she whispered. "Hi,
honey. How's your mother?" I asked.

"She's sleeping," she answered, again in a whisper.

"Did she go to the doctor?" I asked.

"Yes. She got some medicine," my niece said softly.

"Well, don't wake her up. Just tell her I called. What are you doing,
by the way?"

Again in a soft whisper, she answered, "Practicing my trumpet."
________________________________

On a brutally humid day, I walked past a miniature golf course and saw
a dad following three small children from hole to hole.

"Who's winning?" I shouted.

"I am," said one kid.

"Me," said another.

"No, me," yelled the third.

Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, "Their mother is."
________________________________

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the
question. "Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how
do they get there in the first place?" he asked innocently.

After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in
disgust."You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you
don't know the answer."
________________________________

Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down
and broke the news to him.

"I'm going to be away for a long time," I told him. "I'm going to
Iraq ."

"Why?" he asked. "Don't you know there's a war going on over there?"
________________________________

Even though the toddler was having a furious tantrum, his mom was
unfazed. "You may as well give up on the crying," I heard her say as
she led him to the store exit. "You're stuck with me for 18 years."
________________________________

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children
stricken with cancer, AIDS and blood diseases. One afternoon he and
his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A
counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't
know that Newman was a famous movie star, explained, "That's the man
who made this camp possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on his
salad dressing bottle?" Blank stares. "Well, you've probably seen his
face on his lemonade carton."

An eight-year-old girl perked up. "How long was he missing?"
________________________________

Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson, Jermon, was constantly
hungry. I went to my refrigerator to find something he might like to
eat. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons,
I spotted a bowl of leftover chili. "Hey, Jermon," I called out
excitedly. He came running into the kitchen. "Look! I found some
chili." Struggling to be polite, he said, "If you're that surprised,
I'm not really sure I want it."
________________________________

My last name is a mouthful, so when my three-year-old niece learned to
spell it, I was thrilled, until my cousin burst my bubble.

"You can spell Sczygelski any way you like," he pointed out. "Who's
going to know if it's wrong?"
________________________________

For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my
office to have me, a dental hygienist, clean her teeth. She was
accompanied by her grandmother. When they came in, I greeted them
warmly, seated Kelsey and, as usual, put on my gloves, goggles and
mask. About ten minutes into the procedure, she got scared and cried,
"I want my mommy!"

I quickly pulled off my mask and said, "I am your mommy."

Without hesitating, my daughter yelled back, "Then I want my granny!"

hysterical2