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Emptiness
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Emptiness
PostPosted: 11/04/2005 5:08 PM Reply with quote
Hawk
Rizzo
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A lonely person
in a vast emptiness
an unsure child
in a knowing land
a lovesick fool
in an uncaring place
a little girl
struggling in an adults world
she needs help
but no one sees
she cries out
but no one hears
she weeps bitterly
as she realises the hideous truth...
she has grown up at last

© Kirsty 2005
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Emptiness
PostPosted: 11/04/2005 5:25 PM Reply with quote
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rb2d2
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LOL.  Boy, that had a punch, really hits home!   Thanks, Rizzo, that's wonderful!


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Emptiness
PostPosted: 11/06/2005 1:00 AM Reply with quote
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Nightrider
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Hideus truth?  I hope she doesn't see it that way.  Childhood can be great but adulthood can be even better...

You sure expose a lot of your emotion in your poetry Rizzo.  I wish I had that kind of non-mechanical talent...

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Re: Emptiness
PostPosted: 11/06/2005 10:27 AM Reply with quote
Citation
Katy
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I'm glad to see your poetry... although sad...  expressing it can be the first attempt to recovery... And we're enjoying it....
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Emptiness
PostPosted: 11/06/2005 2:39 PM Reply with quote
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Nightrider
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Yes, I hope we can see more of your work, Rizzo.  You have a lot of talent and it would be a shame if you didn't share it with us...

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Re: Emptiness
PostPosted: 11/08/2005 9:37 PM Reply with quote
Skyhawk
sweet_entropy
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Hmm... this is a wonderful poem. Reminds me of one I wrote a while back.

Tell me, was there a particular reason that you refrained from using punctuation? I find it very effective.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking...?

I love your style, and the last line really pulls it all in.

Truly a wonderful ending.

Thank you.  headbang
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Re: Emptiness
PostPosted: 11/09/2005 8:32 PM Reply with quote
Hawk
Rizzo
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Some of my poems have punctuation, some don't. I find that sometimes it detracts from what you're actually trying to say. Sometimes it helps!

27 Smile

Thank you for your kind comments!
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Re: Emptiness
PostPosted: 11/10/2005 8:33 PM Reply with quote
Skyhawk
sweet_entropy
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Word Cnt. 7,816
BDay Jul 6
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Location: madison, wi
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Hmmm.... 27.. ok. Thank you.
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